Not Going To Fall
by ProLazy
Summary: Prompt: Castiel is newly human and realises that he has a fear of heights. Dean promises to help him overcome it.


The first time Castiel realised he didn't like heights was when he was being backed towards the edge of a cliff which presided over a river running 50 feet below him. The two werewolves who had cornered him there seemed about ready to pounce but Castiel had dropped his weapon and he had long been separated from Sam and Dean.

Castiel risked a glance over his shoulder and his eyes widened when he saw the rapid waters taunting him. Now that he was human there was no way he could survive that kind of fall; the weakness of his humanity suddenly hit Castiel all at once and he started to tremble with fear.

He whipped back around when one of the werewolves started snarling. They both had their teeth bared and Castiel just kept reversing despite the fact the cliff had almost come to an end.

He was about to give up hope, but all of a sudden two loud gunshots echoed through the air. The werewolves howled in pain before dropping to the ground revealing Sam and Dean stood behind them with both of their guns still raised.

Castiel let out a shaky sigh of relief as he unexpectedly surged forward and planted himself against Dean's chest. He buried his face in the hunter's shoulder to try and hide himself from the dizzying drop which challenged him.

Dean shot Sam a confused look as he cautiously wrapped his arms around the former angel; despite being human now it wasn't like Cas to be this shaken over a hunt (even those which did explicitly threaten his life).

"Hey, you okay?" Dean asked.

Castiel nodded and stepped away from Dean.

"Yes, sorry. Can we leave now?" Castiel asked with near desperation.

He pushed past the brothers and started to head to the path which would lead back to the Impala.

Sam and Dean shared a concerned look before hurrying after him.

"Cas, are you sure you're okay?" Sam probed.

"Yean, man. You seem a little…edgy?" Dean added.

Castiel winced. "Please don't mention edges" he murmured to himself. "And my life was just very much in danger. Isn't rattled nerves after a situation like an expected reaction?"

"Well, I guess" Dean relented. "But you knew that we would save you?"

"Of course. I will be fine" Castiel tried to reassure the brothers. "Now, please, let's go back to the bunker."

Sam and Dean shared another uneasy look but decided to not say anything else about it. They would just be discretely tentative of Cas for the rest of the night.

* * *

Castiel didn't have to face his new founded fear again until a few days later when they were chasing a vampire who had been stealing much needed blood transplants from a hospital.

They had decided to split up but Dean and Castiel eventually bumped into each other on the third floor; that was quite high enough for Cas as long as he stayed away from the windows.

"Any sign of him?" Dean asked.

"No" Castiel replied regrettably. "Maybe we should call Sam."

Dean's phone started ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw it was his brother.

"Speak of the devil" he said just before he answered it. "Okay, that was a poor choice of words" he added when Castiel looked at him bluntly. "Hey, Sam. You got-"

" _I'm chasing him up the stairwell!_ " Sam panted. _"I think he's going all the way up to the roof. Get in the elevator and see if you can cut him off."_

"Okay, we're on our way" Dean said before hanging up. "C'mon, Cas."

Castiel immediately started to panic. They might end up on the roof? Out in the open where he could see exactly how high up he was? The hospital was at least 10 floors tall.

"Cas!?" Dean exclaimed urgently when he realised the former angel wasn't following him.

"I-I should go back to the first floor" Castiel said. "Just in case he misleads us and escapes that way."

He turned and ran off down the hall before Dean could even argue with him.

Once he arrived back at the entrance of the hospital Castiel stood outside pacing anxiously. He didn't understand what was happening to him. Why did the thought of heights intimidate him so much? It shouldn't be affecting his ability to help Sam and Dean; that wasn't fair. He used to be an all-powerful angel, and now he was letting a seemingly irrational fear rule him.

It felt like hours before Sam and Dean exited the hospital; they were covered in a little blood but fortunately none of it was theirs.

"Did you get him?" Castiel asked nervously.

"Yeah" Dean said with clear distain. "What happened to you!?"

"Dean, it's fine" Sam tried to calm his brother.

"No, he should have had our backs!" Dean argued.

"I know and I'm sorry" Castiel murmured as he looked down at his feet in shame. "I was a coward and I regret abandoning you."

Dean sighed and shook his head a little. "I thought we'd trained you up enough but…maybe you're just not ready to hunt with us yet."

Castiel merely nodded as he accepted Dean's claim.

* * *

Dean did really step up Castiel's training in the week following. They spent a lot of hours in the firing range, revising creatures' weaknesses, and tactile thinking.

Eventually Sam decided he would take Castiel out just for a break. He knew that Dean was only trying to help but sometimes his brother just didn't realise when he was taking things too far. Castiel had seemed a lot more quiet and closed off since the incident at the hospital so Sam was hoping he'd maybe open up to him in a no pressure environment.

He had no such luck though as they returned to the bunker with Castiel hardly saying a word.

"Hey!" Dean called up to them.

Castiel looked down over the stair balcony at him and the ground suddenly seemed far more further away than he remembered it.

He felt dizzy and his breathing felt laboured as he staggered backwards. Sam quickly caught him in his arms.

"Hey, Cas? You alright?"

"Yes, I…I think I just need to sit down."

The former angel tried his best to remain focused on his feet as Sam leaded him down the stairs.

Dean – who has seen the ordeal – quickly pulled back a chair at a table and wondered if he needed to go and fetch his grey blanket from his bed again.

"You with us, buddy?" he asked once Castiel was comfortably seated.

"Yes, I'm sorry about that" Castiel said with wide and sorrowful eyes.

"It's okay" Sam assured him as he took a seat next to the former angel. "Cas, I think we need to talk about what's been going on with you lately."

"Nothing, I'm fine" Castiel lied.

"C'mon, man" Dean said as he sat down on the smaller man's other side. "You can talk to us about anything. We're family."

Castiel looked into the older Winchester's eyes and read the sincerity in them. He took a deep shaky breath and closed his eyes for a moment to collect his thoughts.

"I..I believe that I've developed a rather severe fear of heights."

At first Dean was confused but then when he considered the situations in which Castiel had freaked out he realised that a drastic height had been common feature in them all.

Sam nodded as if to say he had already suspected that, but had been waiting for Castiel to say something to them first.

"Well that's no big. We can help you get through it" Dean said.

"Dean, fears are often severely deep-seated" Sam said. "I can take years to overcome something like that; if ever."

"But I don't want to be afraid of heights" Castiel told him. "I want to overcome it."

"See" Dean said, giving his brother a smug look. "Don't worry, Cas. We'll help you through this."

"Dean, you have a fear of flying" Sam pointed out. "Isn't that kinda tied into a fear of heights? Plus a bunch of other physiological issues we both have which means we're in no way qualified to advise Cas on his own mentality."

"Don't be so pessimistic" Dean said. " We'll work on our fears together. It's called being supportive, Sam. You should try it some time."

The younger Winchester rolled his eyes and got up.

"I'm going to go and do some research" he stated as he walked away.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay and we'll work on your clown thing too?" Dean teased.

"No!" Sam called over his shoulder.

"Okay" Dean said as he turned back to Castiel. "You took a big step in the right direction telling us what the problem was. So, maybe next it would be helpful to work out _why_ you feel that way."

"W-Well, I…" Castiel stammered. He trailed off and started to fiddle with his tie.

Dean immediately picked up on his embarrassment.

"I think my fear of flying started when I was about sixteen. See, up until then my dad had just driven us everywhere and the Impala was what felt familiar and safest to me. But then we got hint of trail on my mom's killer and we couldn't waste a good couple of days travelling across the country to get there. So, we dropped Sam off at Bobby's and my dad got one of his pilot friends he knew from the army to take us there. It was this crappy little plane that I'm sure wouldn't be allowed to fly nowadays and there was a lot of turbulence. I was so scared but…my dad always expected me to be tough from a young age so I couldn't say anything about it."

"I'm…I'm sorry to hear that" Castiel said offering his friend a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah, but it doesn't stop me from being a badass" Dean shrugged. "Okay, my chick-flick scene is over. Now you go."

"Well...after thinking about it it's pretty simple really" Castiel confessed. "I don't have my wings anymore. I've fallen from heaven…from grace. I suppose all I have left to fall from is some great height and now…now I presume that can kill me."

He looked down at his lap again in humiliation, but he was surprised when Dean's hand gently reached out and covered his own in a sign of caring.

"Cas, I promise I will never let that happen" Dean said seriously. "You might have fallen from grace but I'm proud of how you've picked yourself back up again. This is just another hurdle you need to overcome, and I will help you do it."

Castiel looked up and offered the hunter a small smile.

"Thank you, Dean."

The older Winchester squeezed his hands.

* * *

Over the next couple of weeks Dean and Castiel worked together on overcoming Cas' fear.

Sam wanted to try some tested methods he had found online but Dean seemed adamant he could do it without some 'fancy smanshy' book doctor. Sam thought it best not to argue and partly suspected that Dean was enjoying his bonding time with the former angel.

They tried roleplaying situations and mental exercises; most of which Dean had seen watching Dr. Phil but he wasn't going to admit that anytime soon. However, both Dean and Castiel found that the most effective system was just Dean reassuring the angel that he was there with him every step of the way.

Things seemed to be going well as Castiel at least no longer had a problem looking over the balcony, but they had yet had a chance to try anything higher.

That was until they took down a killer mystic at a carnival; it turned out that she was an evil witch.

"Well, now that work is over how about we have some fun?" Dean said enthusiastically as rubbed his hands together. "So many food stands to try."

"Yes, I can just smell the diabetes in the air" Sam said cynically. "You guys stay if you want; I'll walk back to the motel."

"Right…and this has nothing to do with that funhouse over there with a creepy clown stood outside?"

"Shut up, Jerk" Sam warned before walking away.

"Bitch!" Dean called after him. He walked over to Cas chuckling; the former angel seemed to have been distracted watching a ring toss game. "You wanna get some grub?" the older Winchester asked.

"Sure" Castiel said with a small smile.

He followed Dean through the fairground until the older Winchester stuck his arm out to stop Castiel in his tracks.

"I think I know what we can do next to face your fear" he said and pointed at the Ferris wheel.

Castiel's eyes widened as he tried to take in the scale of the ride.

"Dean, I-I'm not sure."

"C'mon, it'll be really ro-, um, really good for you" Dean claimed. "I'll be sat right there with you. I won't let you get hurt I promise."

"Okay" Castiel said quietly, but then he nodded with more determination. "I'll do it."

"Great!" Dean beamed as he took Castiel's hand and guided him to the wheel.

Dean paid the operator and he and Castiel piled onto the seat.

As soon as they were secured and the strange contraption started moving Castiel felt like he was going to panic again. He immediately shuffled up to Dean and closed his eyes.

He felt the older Winchester wrap an arm tightly around him and Castiel instantly felt more safe.

"It's okay" Dean said with unusual softness as he placed his free hand over Cas' which were squeezing the safety bar. "You can do this. I know you can. I've got you."

Castiel nodded and took a few deep breaths. He tried not to concentrate on the swinging motion as they moved but the feeling of Dean's arm holding him protectively.

When they suddenly stopped Castiel thought he was going to start freaking again, but Dean started talking gently.

"We're at the top. The view is really awesome, Cas. You can see all the lights from the fair."

Castiel did appreciate the earth's beauty and he would hate to miss it. He slowly prised one eye open and found that Dean was not exaggerating. The lights and the night sky were quite mesmerising.

He brought himself to look around them completely, and the corners of his lips twitched upwards.

"It is wonderful."

Dean smiled at him. "Glad you could enjoy it."

The hunter stayed pressed against Castiel until they were all the way back down again and they climbed out of the seat.

"I did it!" Castiel said excitedly once their feet were firmly on the ground again. "And in the end I wasn't scared."

"I knew you could do it" Dean said with a smile before pulling the smaller man into a tight hug. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you, Dean" Castiel said as he pulled back to look at the hunter. "As long as you have confidence in me then I feel that I can overcame anything."

"Well I'm glad I could help, but really your own bravery was the main reason."

Castiel gave him a grateful smile.

"C'mon, I'll get you some cotton candy as a reward."

"What's cotton candy?"

"Aw, man" Dean said as he took Castiel's hand without even thinking. "I still have so much to teach you about food. We're hitting all the stalls-"

Castiel wondered if Dean even realised that they were holding hands as they walked, but the hunter just seemed to be happy rambling about how apple was still a fruit even if it was covered in toffee; no matter what Sam said.

All Castiel knew was that having this fear had possibly been advantageous in some way as it had brought him and Dean closer together, and as long as Dean believed in him then Castiel was sure that he could conquer almost anything.


End file.
